Naked Guy Was Tripping, Covered In Crisco


A naked greasy man was covered in cooking oil and tripping on LSD when he tangled with police officers called to a residence where the suspect was destroying the home’s contents and “assaulting everyone” inside, according to a court complaint.

Lonnie Beatty II, 19, was arrested following a greasy confrontation inside and outside a trailer.  Where this kind of confrontation usually happens.

Police from three separate departments gathered outside the home after receiving a report that Beatty was attacking five household members (which included children). As officers approached the trailer door, Beatty burst outside, screaming, “No, no, no, no!”

Beatty then decided to jump off the trailer’s porch and “ran naked through the snow” (Who hasn’t) in the front yard en route to the roadway. When Beatty ignored police orders to stop running around, a cop “deployed the Taser, which hit Beatty and he fell to the ground.”

However, due to icy conditions, cops could not get to Beatty before he “just kept rolling on the ground until he pulled the wires off the Taser.” Beatty then continued to race around, while officers “could not get close to him due to the icy conditions.”

Police then used a second Taser strike which appeared to have no effect on Beatty, who ran inside the trailer to stick some peanut M&M’s up his ass and grease up. Police, however, had difficulty controlling Beatty since he was “naked and covered in Crisco.”

Beatty’s relatives told the police that after taking a hit of acid he got out of control and began striking them and destroying the residence. At one point, a witness said, the family dog bit Beatty “to protect them from him.”

Beatty was originally charged with 24 misdemeanor counts, including assault, endangering the welfare of children, and making terroristic threats. However, since his girlfriend and family members have refused to pursue charges, the case against Beatty has been pared down to single counts of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Pictured above, Beatty was freed from the Armstrong County jail last Monday on $10,000 bail.